Colby is interesting to write, I think, because he's very good at empathy for others, and he's always willing to try to see the best in people - which sometimes the people need! He looks at people with a lot of kindness: "oh, of course you're trying your best, of course you care about people, of course you've just made a little mistake, but it's all right, you didn't mean to and you won't do it again, so that's all right, isn't it? there's no irrevocable harm done, not at all, and of course you're a good person, and how can I help, if you would like help? would you like some lemon tarts?" And then the people are just, like...whoa, okay, so...maybe I am somehow a good person? maybe I can do this? maybe I want to be the sort of person Colby Kent thinks I am? somehow I've now said yes to starting a culinary foundation and also I feel better about myself? (Colby would be an excellent negotiator or diplomat or something, even though he doesn't realize it. Everybody would just find themselves helplessly bemusedly swept up in the niceness, and somehow they just couldn't let him down by not agreeing to things / being their best selves.)
But then the flip side of that is that he tends to...not be as kind to himself, personally. He never wants to cause any bother and he'll tend to say, "oh, no, I'm fine, I can handle it, no need to fuss, how can I make this easier for YOU?" about whatever it is, along with things like, "well, Liam isn't THAT bad really, he held an umbrella for me that one time and he puts up with me, even though I'm really very odd and anxious and not good in bed, and not many people WOULD put up with me, I do know that, so I should certainly keep trying to please him..." Which is something Jason (and their therapist) is gently trying to help with: reminding him that he's equally important, and that if he's unhappy or hurt he's allowed to say so, not just accept it.
(...and now I have a vague plot bunny. Of course I'm still partway through the top!Colby story, taking care of Jason - which is important! - but now I actually want the sort of emotional hurt/comfort story in which Jason completely accidentally said or did something...not too major, but something like...oops, I stepped on one of your really nice pens and broke it, or spilled something on your one-of-a-kind signed first edition of this book...and obviously it's an accident but it'd still be understandable if Colby was a little *upset*, right? but instead Colby's very clearly not allowing those emotions to happen, trying to say it doesn't matter, and Jason's finally like, "PLEASE JUST GET MAD AT ME. At least a little annoyed. SOMETHING. It's OKAY if you're upset with me." And then they talk about it.) (Talking about things: the plot of all my stories... :D )
Love to you and your family! Dealing with loss is always so complicated, even if it's expected...so many emotions, and people go through them differently, and process them differently and at different times...lots of compassion needed, and patience. But fortunately it sounds like your holiday was overall good! <3
Re: Book things and apologies!
But then the flip side of that is that he tends to...not be as kind to himself, personally. He never wants to cause any bother and he'll tend to say, "oh, no, I'm fine, I can handle it, no need to fuss, how can I make this easier for YOU?" about whatever it is, along with things like, "well, Liam isn't THAT bad really, he held an umbrella for me that one time and he puts up with me, even though I'm really very odd and anxious and not good in bed, and not many people WOULD put up with me, I do know that, so I should certainly keep trying to please him..." Which is something Jason (and their therapist) is gently trying to help with: reminding him that he's equally important, and that if he's unhappy or hurt he's allowed to say so, not just accept it.
(...and now I have a vague plot bunny. Of course I'm still partway through the top!Colby story, taking care of Jason - which is important! - but now I actually want the sort of emotional hurt/comfort story in which Jason completely accidentally said or did something...not too major, but something like...oops, I stepped on one of your really nice pens and broke it, or spilled something on your one-of-a-kind signed first edition of this book...and obviously it's an accident but it'd still be understandable if Colby was a little *upset*, right? but instead Colby's very clearly not allowing those emotions to happen, trying to say it doesn't matter, and Jason's finally like, "PLEASE JUST GET MAD AT ME. At least a little annoyed. SOMETHING. It's OKAY if you're upset with me." And then they talk about it.) (Talking about things: the plot of all my stories... :D )
Love to you and your family! Dealing with loss is always so complicated, even if it's expected...so many emotions, and people go through them differently, and process them differently and at different times...lots of compassion needed, and patience. But fortunately it sounds like your holiday was overall good! <3