luninosity | book things!

(Why do I not have a holiday/Christmas icon? This is the closest, I think...)

A quick post today - a story release, and me doing a guest blog about it!

So…“Sugarplums and Sailing Ships” is out now from JMS Books!

16k of holiday baking show m/m romance! A crossover in which Jason & Colby from the Character Bleed books get to meet & hang out with Nate & Marcus from Gingerbread Dreams!

With…

~baking show excitement, Jason & Colby being guest judges, and innuendo about cream

~Terrible Holiday Sweaters, which Marcus will never wear

~Colby being quietly good at advice, and Nate not throwing marshmallows at anyone (yet)

~Jason solving a problem or two

~apparently, a moment that made my editor tear up! So…er…enjoy? (Happy endings, I swear! They were good tears!)

You can find it at Amazon here, or JMS Books here, or all the other usual places!

ALSO! I have done a guest blog post chatting about it over on the lovely Ofelia Grand's blog! With an excerpt! So...come and read about it?

Okay, back to grading! Love you!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh I love the idea of Colby as a diplomat. I immediately remembered Shirley Temple as an ambassador to the UN and how tactfully, powerfully effective she was at a time when male chauvinism in government was still strongly pronounced. Colby would have that same effect I think! The person that most people cannot bear to disappoint, who is still non-judgmental and supportive. (I had a sudden flash of Colby moderating a presidential debate!) I think exploring that self-sacrificing aspect is fascinating. There's a Buddhist axiom: "Drive all blame into the self." Which is intended to prevent the error of projecting one's pain, disappointment, envy, etc. on others. The trick of course (and I 've had Buddhist teachers warn about this) is the necessity to balance what should be recognizing the Buddha nature in others and not recognizing it in one's self! I think Jason's response is perfect; letting Colby know he can safely be angry about the action without being seen as rejecting Jason, or damaging the relationship. What a fascinating story that will make...especially since Jason still carries undeserved guilt himself. A great opportunity for both of them. Thank you for your kind thoughts; they are greatly appreciated.

Ooh, yes, Colby would be such a good moderator - well, in some ways. Incredibly encouraging and tactful, but he'd also hate to interrupt anyone, and he wouldn't enjoy it if voices got raised! But he'd have thoughtful questions and talking points. (He'd be a good professor, actually - he might not be the most forceful or the loudest-voiced when, say, giving a paper or on a roundtable, but all the research would be brilliant and all the students would come to his office for advice and baked goods.)

This little snippet is ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT, now! :D

#

Jason looked at him more closely. “Hey. It’s okay if you’re mad at me.”

“Oh, no.” Colby’s eyes got even wider, dismayed. “No, I’m not, it’s fine—of course it was an accident, I’m not at all mad at you, I should’ve noticed it was on the floor, it’s my fault.”

Jason felt that one like a kick to the chest. “Colby. Babe. No, it’s not your fault, and you can be upset with me, you know that, right?”

“Of—of course…but…I shouldn’t be, not for this, I’ll just get a new pen—and a new rug, that’s easy enough, I’m sure we can find something we both like, in blue or grey or—” Colby wasn’t quite meeting his eyes. Not looking at Jason. Words tumbling out like falling stones. He even took a tiny step back, and in doing so put a whole spike into Jason’s heart.

“Colby.” Would a step closer help? Trying to get Colby to see him? But nothing intimidating. No throwing weight around. “Look at me?”

Colby did, very obviously because Jason had asked, eyes big and blue and unhappy. He also said, “Sorry?” and then bit his lip, hard enough to leave pink marks.

Jason took a deep breath. Considered deep waters, hidden tides and undertows that could suck a person down, and the presence of very narrow stepping-stones that’d let him get this right. “I love you, okay? And I know you love me. You know I know that, right?”

Colby nodded, but slowly.

“Okay. Look, I wasn’t looking, and I stepped on your pen and got ink on the rug, and yeah, it was an accident, but it’s okay if you feel annoyed about it. You can be annoyed with me.”

“But I’m not.”

“Not even a little?”

“But it was my fault for dropping it—”

“And I stepped on it. And you love that pen. Go ahead and be upset about it.”

“Oh no.” Colby was shaking his head more; no, Jason understood abruptly. Colby was outright shaking. Physically. “No, I—I’m not, I can’t—”

“Colby,” Jason tried again. “You can say it.”

Colby took another step back, collided with the arm of the couch, and just sort of slid down to sit on the floor in a heap of long legs, trembling. “Jason, please—” His voice shook too, coming apart, suddenly near tears.

Jason swore at himself, silently. Careful, careful—tiny steps, not asking too much…

He knelt down next to Colby. Not reaching out. Not yet. “Can I touch you?”

Colby looked up, nodded, and then reached for him, hesitant but hopeful, unintentionally raking claws through Jason’s soul. Colby was so clearly scared, and equally clearly wanted to turn to him for safety. Wanted Jason’s arms.

He gathered Colby close. Held on tight.

Colby was actually crying, not just on the edge of it. Quietly, not causing a fuss, but really crying, face hidden in Jason’s chest. And still trembling.

The stepping-stones wobbled, on the brink of getting washed away. Jason’s heart pounded.

He rubbed Colby’s back, gently. He whispered, “I’m here. I’m here, I love you, it’s okay. You don’t have to get mad at me. I’m not going anywhere, I’m here, no matter what, all right?” and ran a hand over Colby’s hair. “We’re okay.”

One of Colby’s hands curled into Jason’s shirt, clinging.

“I’ve got you,” Jason told him, and leaned back against the side of the couch, Colby in his lap. The rug, stained in violet, lay sadly beside them. “You’re here, I’m here, we’re good. You can hold on, and I’m gonna hold on to you, and we can stay right here. As long as you want.”

Colby nodded again, against his chest. The trembling had gotten a little better, which was a good sign. Jason hoped so, at least.

He said, “I love you,” and kissed the top of Colby’s head, and then just rested their heads together. Colby’s hair brushed his cheek. “I love you. My Colby. And I’m yours, always, you know that. Your Jason.”

“I know,” Colby said, voice lace-thin but present.

“Good.”

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